04 October 2009

Rene Artois


René Artois
French sitcom character
Moustache type: Nailbrush

Portrayed by Gorden Kaye in the British comedy series ‘Allo ‘Allo (1982-92)

René Artois is a café proprietor in a small town in Nazi-occupied France during World War II. Fundamentally concerned with self-preservation, René attempts to maintain good relations with each of the war’s various combatants, including the occupying Germans and the French Resistance.

His self-interest extends to domestic affairs. René has a hard time keeping his secret romance with his waitress Yvette a secret from his wife Edith, and keeping his secret romance with his waitress Maria a secret from Yvette (and Edith).

Most of the episodes’ humour revolves around René’s love affairs, his resistance to helping the Resistance, his interrogation by the Germans, his interaction with various national stereotypes - including the British Airmen he is hiding - and his attempts to keep hidden an extremely valuable painting – The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies.

It is noteworthy in ‘Allo ‘Allo that all the men on the Allied side have moustaches and all the Germans are clean-shaven. An admirable rewriting of history by Messrs. Croft and Lloyd.

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